You may have built a good life together.

You’ve raised a family. Built careers. Made big decisions. Gotten through hard seasons. There is still love here.

But there are parts of your marriage you cannot seem to fix.

Maybe the same argument keeps happening in different forms.

One of you tries to talk and the other shuts down. One pushes harder to be understood and the other pulls farther away. You make up, promise to handle it differently next time, and somehow end up right back in the same place.

Or maybe there isn't much fighting anymore.

You've grown farther apart.

You function well together. You manage the house, work, kids, schedules and responsibilities. But the friendship, affection or physical intimacy that used to make you feel like a couple has become harder to find.

And you don't want to spend the next ten years getting better at living around the problem.

That's the work we do here.

I’m Carrie Cohen. I’ve been a psychotherapist for 27 years, and my private couples work is for couples who are highly committed to their marriage and ready to look honestly at what is happening between them.

We aren't going to spend months having the same argument in my office that you're already having at home.

I want to understand the pattern underneath it.

What happens between the two of you when one person feels hurt, rejected, criticized, unwanted, overwhelmed or misunderstood?

Who pursues?

Who withdraws?

What does each of you start protecting?

What happens to affection and physical intimacy when those patterns have been repeated for years?

And what would each of you need to learn to do differently for the relationship itself to begin feeling different?

This isn't about deciding who is right.

It's about helping both of you understand the marriage you're creating together and giving you a different way to participate in it.

Because insight is important.

But eventually, the work has to reach the moment when you're standing in the kitchen having the same fight again.

The car ride when neither of you speaks.

The conversation that starts reasonably and somehow becomes an argument.

The moment one of you reaches for the other and feels the distance that's developed between you.

That's where change has to become usable.

What Private Work With Me Actually Looks Like

I don't work with every couple the same way because every couple isn't stuck for the same reason.

We begin with a thorough assessment of both of you and the relationship you've built together.

I want to understand your individual histories, the patterns each of you brings into close relationships, what happens when those patterns meet inside your marriage, and what you've already tried that hasn't created the change you wanted.

Then we decide what actually needs our attention.

Sometimes that means working together.

Sometimes I need individual time with each of you.

Often it's a combination.

Over four months, you'll receive:

16 private sessions

We'll use a combination of joint and individual sessions based on what I believe will best support the work we're doing.

Support between sessions

Marriage doesn't only happen during the hour you're sitting with me. You'll have messaging access for support as you begin applying the work in your actual relationship.

A plan specific to your marriage

We're not following a generic couples curriculum. Our work is built around the patterns, history, challenges and goals that are actually present between the two of you.

Support with the parts of marriage that are difficult to separate

Communication doesn't exist independently from resentment. Intimacy doesn't exist independently from the rest of the relationship. Old hurts can affect what happens in a completely ordinary conversation today.

We can work with the whole picture.

The goal isn't a marriage where you never disagree, never hurt each other's feelings or always want exactly the same things.

It's a marriage where you understand what happens when you get out of sync and know how to find your way back.

Where difficult conversations don't have to become the same fight you've had for years.

Where one person's needs don't automatically become the other person's failure.

Where there is room for two different people to have different feelings, wants and experiences and still know they're on the same team.

And, when physical intimacy has become strained or distant, where we can look honestly at what has happened there too.

This work is a fit for couples who:

• Love each other and genuinely want the marriage.

• Are both willing to look at their own part in the dynamic.

• Want more than better communication techniques.

• Are willing to practice something different between sessions, not simply understand what happened after the fact.

• Want a therapist who will be direct, ask difficult questions, notice patterns and help both people think more clearly without choosing sides.

• And are ready to make their marriage a real priority for the next four months.

I will lead you to the paths. I will help you understand the paths. But I will not choose the path for you.

The marriage belongs to the two of you.

My job is to help you see what's happening clearly enough that you can make different choices inside it.

Investment

Private Couples Work is a four-month commitment.

The investment is $15,000 paid in full or two payments of $7,750.

Because of the amount of access and individual attention involved, I work with a very limited number of private couples at a time.

The first step is an application followed by a consultation with me.

The consultation gives us a chance to talk about what is happening in your marriage, what you want to change, and whether I believe this is the right kind of support for the two of you.

If you're both looking at your marriage and thinking, we love each other, but we don't want to keep doing this the same way, I invite you to apply.

Warmly,

Carrie